Everyone knows you're an alarmist, Jessica. I mean, even your last name is Wildfire for Chrissake!

Besides, women are not allowed to make predictions. Do you know Cassandra? That was one troubled ancient Greek woman. She made the most accurate predictions and no one believed her. So why make them in the first place and be broken because of it? Leave it to the men. Every prophet I can remember was a man. That can't be a coincidence. Prophets need beards, preferably white. That narrows down the pool of prospective women prophets quite a bit, you know.

Most wannabe bearded women prophets probably came across Cassandra's story, said "no thanks" and went on making eerily accurate predictions about wool sweater measurements and cookie dough ratios for Winter Solstice. The rest were burnt at the stake.